The first weeks with your baby
- Nov 30, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 5, 2023
I have been asked by many first-time Parents about the first few weeks with a baby, especially about their baby's sleep. I wanted to address a few questions here so it will be available for everyone and may help a few struggling parents to enjoy their first chapter with their new baby.
First of all, Moms, you need to rest as much as you can! You have given life, it is a big deal even if the birth (vaginal, assisted vaginal, C-section or VBAC) was as smooth as Lurpak. The house will wait, the chores will wait! Get your stamina back, everything will be done faster when you are ready.
Second of all, Dads, you will have to help even if you have to go to work in the morning because the love of your life has given you a beautiful little person who will look up to you and cling to you for forever. It will be so much fun, I promise! :)
There will be a few tips in our online New Parents 101 program about how to speed up recovery after birth for both Parents — coming soon!
So sleep!
We all know how to sleep and take it for granted but forget how much our parents spent shaping, tweaking and adjusting in the first few years of our lives to teach us how to fall asleep on our own, stay asleep or even not sleep all day. And it is tough. Many tears have been shed, not just from babies' eyes and I dare to say it may be even more from their parents' eyes.
I believe knowing how babies work will help many parents and here I try to give you a short version.
Babies sleep and eat a lot. You may feel they don't sleep much sometimes because their brain isn't developed enough for long sleep. Short, 30 to 45 mins naps are normal as they have difficulties connecting sleep cycles, and about 45 mins is a sleep cycle. So don't try to keep your baby awake in the hope of longer naps, it is counter-productive as a tired baby takes longer to fall asleep as they don't know how to regulate emotions and their body. They will get there eventually but not for the first 3 months.
Sleep promotes sleep. So what I would suggest, is to try and follow their needs. Look for sleep cues (less attention, daydreaming, rubbing head, less open eyes, etc) for when they get sleepy. Once they cry, it will be harder to put them down for sleep, so don't wait for that but if it happens, keep calm to calm your baby. Remember, babies need their parents for almost everything, from regulating body temperature through eating to helping them fall asleep. It's a lot of work and it's hard but it is normal. You can also follow wake windows, with a feed-play-sleep routine. They wake, they eat, they play and sleep again. Routine, in general, helps throughout the early years but I would go very flexible about it at the very beginning.
So your precious little one will wake several times at night to feed. And again it is normal. This will be the norm for a few months up to even 12 months but maybe, hopefully, less often than the early days. Try to encourage connecting their sleep cycles by not getting them up straight after awake and letting them try to fall back to sleep or gently tap or rub their tummy with some shushing to help them.
Safe sleep is very important for me and I always go with the better be safe than sorry. I will link a few websites to find out more about how to position babies and what is the right temperature of the room, we will also have a little booklet about this. But the most important that parents should know that babies are safest on their backs and they should be placed in an empty cot on their back if that is possible for the family. Some families however don't have the space or are not financially able to purchase a cot, these links will explain other options.
Babies don't eat much in one go at the beginning, their stomach is as big as their fist. They will eat small amounts frequently, and I mean very often. As a general rule, babies eat at least once every 3 hours but some babies more often some less. Breastfeeding is another tough part of Motherhood but I will not go into details on this now :) Bottle-fed babies may feed more than breastfed babies at one time as they are more efficient.
A few tips that help babies in the first few months. Attention, a lot of it :) Half joking, cause they do need it. Again keep in mind, they are new and know nothing about the world. Babies are born with a few reflexes that help them but not many and need assistance. Sucking motion calms babies so introducing a pacifier can be a good idea. (Keep in mind, once you started you committed and later on you will wake to put the paci back for them until they can do it themselves). I found calming classical music helps when looking after little ones. It also helps me stay calm. Babies pick up the mood of the room, they are very good at that. Rocking motion helps too, as they got used to that in the womb, it is something familiar for them, therefore calms them down.
I could go on for ages about babies but I will save it for another post. I really hope this will help some and if you have any questions, do book a telephone appointment or drop me a message. All families are different and what works for one might not go well with another one. I am here to help with a holistic and personalised plan for every family.
If you have found this useful or learned something you didn't know before, please share it with fellow parents or carers. If you need support whether online or in-home consultation, have a look at our services. Click here.
Thank you,
Amanda
Useful Links:
The Lullaby Trust raises awareness of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), provides expert advice on safer sleep for babies and offers emotional support for bereaved families.
The baby sleep info source
For parents who wish to make informed choices about infant sleep and night-time care. This is the research source that The Lullyby Trust based their recommendations on. They work closely together.
The American Academy of Pediatrics is the American source for safe sleep advice. And has a slightly different opinion on co-sleeping with babies.
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